Episode 214: Guess the Virtue | Tim Henderson+

Introduction

Thanks, Babs. Alright. How you doing? Alright. I want you to do me a favor. Before we get started, would you get out your cell phone and take down my phone number? You ready? We anticipate complaints, we'll just let them all come flowing in. Alright. No complaints. Well maybe you never know. But, take get out your phone, take down my phone number. My name is Tim Henderson and I'd love to be in your phone. My number is area code... Is this is that me? Something bad happening, Max? Area code 814. Is it back live? Is it back live? Area code (814) 280-3771. Tim Henderson, area code 814280... You know what, did Brian relieve? Because Quiggs might expect that. Yeah, that's gonna be annoying. Area code (814) 280-3771. (814) 280-3771. Call now. Well, don't call now. What do you think? Is it gonna be the mic or the Max, more like it be the mic of the pack. Are we on? How was that? That was seamless, really. Okay. So thank you, Brian. Although, am I like just draped in wires now? Okay. Tim Henderson, (814) 280-3771. I'll tell you why later, but I'd love you to have access to me.

Playing Guess the Virtue

So we're gonna play a game. I made it up, and the name of the game is Guess the Virtue. Okay? Don't say anything out loud yet. Let me get through the whole list. But I want you to tell me what virtue, what social and moral good, what divinely prescribed human obligation, fulfills all of these descriptions, everyone.

Okay? Don't answer yet. Let me get through the list.

This virtue is the basis of the parable that Nathan tells David when he rebukes him for the train wreck, this whole mess, this awful theft of Bathsheba in Second Samuel 12. What was the underlying virtue there?

This virtue is one of the personal attributes that Job claims for himself, in Job 31, when he defends himself against the charge that all of his pain, all of his suffering is caused by his own wrongdoing.

This virtue shows up in the lists of church leadership in First Timothy and Titus, meaning you cannot be a leader in the church of Jesus Christ unless this describes you, and it has nothing in an obvious way to do with leadership or teaching.

Paul includes it in his list of virtues that are the necessary effects of life in Christ in Romans 12. He exhorts us to live in light of God's mercy in Romans 12, and this virtue is one of the ways that we do that. It is one of about a half a dozen necessary conditions that widows must meet in order to receive benefits from the church in their distress.

An entire New Testament letter has this virtue as its single topic. The whole letter is about this one thing, and it is the basis of Jesus' sheep and goats discourse that Barbara just read to us, which Jesus says will determine who is invited into eternal life and who is cast into eternal punishment.

And then finally, this virtue, if exercised, may allow you to meet angels according to Hebrews 13.

Okay. That's the list. What's the virtue? What fulfills all of those things?

Faith is not a bad answer in a lot of cases, but that's not my common link here.

Gary?

Hospitality. Hospitality is the answer. Very good, Gary.

Every one of those things, that whole giant list, has as its center hospitality. In Greek, it's what the New Testament calls phylloxenia. Can you break that down?

Phylloxenia. What's phylloxenia?

Yeah. Love. Philadelphia, city of brotherly loves. It's love. Xenia is a stranger. Hospitality, the New Testament term for it is philosenia, the love of strangers.

Okay? I'm gonna walk back through that list again and show this to you. So in Second Samuel chapter 12, Nathan is rebuking David for his theft of Bathsheba, and his opening shot is this.

Second Samuel twelve one, there were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. And the rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb that he had bought. He raised it, and he grew up with him and his children. It shared his food and drank from his cup, and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who would come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.

Nathan is likening David's failure to a corruption of hospitality in which a man is unwilling to use his own wealth to bless a stranger and so disadvantages another.

And in Job 31, in response to his friends who are saying, dude, come on. Let's just be honest. You have to have done something to deserve all of this. Job responds even to their mockery, and he makes this claim.

No stranger had to spend the night in the street, for my door was always open to the traveler.

He's trusting that his hospitality is a protection against judgment.

First Timothy and Titus are the two books that you would go to to find the lists for the rules for the leaders in Christ's church, and they say that overseers must be, quote, above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, and hospitable.

Titus puts it like this: He says an elder must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. You simply cannot be a leader in the church if you are not known for hospitality.

Romans 12, you guys, is such—I love Romans 12. Romans 12 is this absolute explosion for 11 chapters in the book of Romans, which is the greatest thing ever written by a human being.

For 11 chapters, Paul has been building up the theology of Christianity with zero application. It is just doctrine. It is the dogma. It is this all of this doctrinal truth for 11 chapters.

And then finally, in chapter 12, verse 1, the dam bursts, and this torrent of implications comes rushing forth. And it's just think, think, think, think, and in that torrent, Paul says this. He's in verse 11, he says, never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

It is one of the necessary effects of faith in Christ.

First Timothy 5, Paul gives his foundational teaching for providing for widows who are distressed, who have lost their means of support. And he directs them—he says, make a list of the widows who have met these conditions and a list of those who have not, and keep it separate because those only on this first list have a right to receive support from the church.

He says this in First Timothy 5:9: No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over 60, has been faithful to her husband, is well known for her good deeds such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble, and devoting yourself to all kinds of good deeds.

I mentioned that there's a book in the New Testament whose sole purpose, sole focus, is hospitality. Anybody know what book that is?

It is very much obscure. What did you say? Okay. No. But you're close. You're close, Liz. Not First John. First John is primarily about, how do we know that we really are in Christ.

But it's—you got the right author. It's Third John, which is like this long. Okay? It's like 300 words. It's a tiny little letter. It's a personal letter to a man named Gaius.

And here's the heart of the letter. It goes like this in verses five to eight.

Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. The love of strangers. They've told the church about your love, and you will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. It was for the sake of the name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans.

We ought, therefore, to show hospitality to such men, that we may work together for the truth.

The strangers that John is writing to Gaius about are believers in Christ. They're brothers. They're basically traveling evangelists who are traveling around the Roman Empire telling people about Christ. And Gaius, the recipient of this letter, is being commended for his hospitality to them.

Okay? That means that Gaius opened his home to these strangers. He welcomed them in. He fed them. He provided for them. He cared for them, and he practiced the ancient lost art of Christian hospitality.

In this letter, Gaius is contrasted with another guy named Diatrophes, and he shows up down in verse nine. John says, I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us.

So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing—gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. The whole letter is a commendation of the virtue and a condemnation of the vice against hospitality.

In brief, guys, hospitality is a major Christian virtue, not even only biblically, but historically, as the church began, one of the things that we were famous for was our graciousness, our philosenia—our love of strangers.

There's this magnificent letter. I've quoted it before, so some of you might recognize this. It's from antiquity. We don't know exactly who wrote it, but it was written to someone named Diony. Dionytus, I think that's how you'd say it.

Dionytus. We don't know the author, but he describes what he's observed about Christians. So this is from about 130, 150. It's early, early, early. Here's what he says:

Christians dwell in their own countries, but simply as sojourners. As citizens, they share all things with others and yet endure all things as if foreigners. Every foreign land is to them as their native country, and every land of their birth as it is a land of strangers.

They marry as do all others. They beget children, but they do not destroy their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed. I love that last line. It artfully captures this couplet of Christian countercultural morality.

They have a common table, meaning they're hospitable, they're generous, but not a common bed, for they are sexually chased. You guys, hospitality is not just biblical and it's not just historical, but it is for some a present reality.

For some of you, your lives are marked by hospitality. In just a moment, I wanna introduce you to some friends of mine who I feel like have lived this out in a very rich way.

Many of you know them because they were once part of Church of Holy Spirit before they moved down to the Radford area. And Kelly and I became close friends with them, largely when they decided to host a Blue Ridge Fellow.

And then subsequent to that, when their home became the home away from home for lots and lots of fellows for multiple years on end.

Now regarding the fellows, some of you probably have some vague sense about my other job. I have two jobs. I work here at Church of the Holy Spirit as a chief staff and do a lot of teaching and oversight and direction for our staff.

But my other job is that I am the director of Blue Ridge Fellows. And some of you don't have any idea what that means, so I'll just give you a very brief context for it.

Kelly and I moved down to Roanoke to begin this organization called Blue Ridge Fellows. And every year, we invite 10 recent college graduates to move from wherever they're at to come to Roanoke to begin their careers with us.

You may have met some of the fellows. If they work with your children, if you have kids downstairs, they're often volunteers there. You may have seen many of them. A lot of them have musical skills and they're on stage here. But they are an amazing bunch.

Year after year, we have these godly, frankly beautiful—they're all really, we don't let unattractive people in the program—smart, gracious, young professionals, and we just love them. It's such an incredibly fun time.

The fellows are with us for basically a school year. They come Labor Day, and they stay through Memorial Day. And over the nine months of the program, we give the fellows just an enormous amount of spiritual development, leadership development, vocational development.

They all get jobs working in their fields, and then we kind of fill in around their work schedule, often in our home, with lots and lots and lots of time in the scriptures, discussing cultural engagement issues, thinking through skills they will need to be successful adults in every area of life.

And it is enormously fun, and they are every year just an exceptional group.

And one of the most unique parts of the program is that the fellows live with you. Each fellow is placed with a host who practices the Christian art of hospitality. Families here in the church, individuals in the church welcome a fellow.

They live out this biblical vision of hospitality by loving a stranger for nine months.

Now several years ago, the Q Thrills decided to do that very thing, and I'd love to have you guys come up. Did you get the mic? Good mic? Alright. Come on up.

So Rachel and Caleb, I don't even know, five, six years ago, several years ago, they decided to welcome a stranger into their home. And the results for them and for the fellows, I think, were extraordinary.

So we're super glad to have you guys here. They came back up to town just to spend some time with us. So welcome back. We loved you. We miss you. We're glad you're here.

So let me ask you some questions. Okay?

So, why did you guys decide to host a fellow?

Oh, we're not good yet? Let's see. How we doing? Technology. Oh, yeah. Well, we're having all kinds of problems. So, it's good. There you go.

Alright. So, yeah. So, what, the first time you guys said yes, why did you decide to host a fellow?

So, we were trying to get more involved with church ministry, and I grew up in the mission field. My parents always hosted young adults coming out doing mission short-term things, and I remember as a kid being so cool, being able to interact with these young adults who were on fire for Christ. Very, very cool, kind of like the fellows.

And so we thought, well, that would be really cool for our kids to be able to experience and also be able to, you know, get involved in the ministry here. And so that, I'm sure we'd like to do that.

Yes. I remember sitting in your family room and having that initial conversation for sure.

Okay. So, Rachel, what was, what made you apprehensive, if anything? What was, what was kind of the barriers in your mind about hosting?

Yeah. I thought that hospitality meant you have to have a really clean home and be a really good cook, and I'm neither.

I had a three-year-old and a one-year-old at the time, and my husband was in surgical residency. And as a person who's not always clean and doesn't like to make a lot from scratch to eat, I thought that's not for me because I don't have those giftings.

And so I was really nervous about inviting somebody into our home if I couldn't provide what they might expect.

Okay. And how did it, how did it play out?

Well, well, it ended up raising those insecurities, especially that first month, with each we hosted three times. And with each of the girls that came into our home, about a month in, I would have, like, a little mini breakdown and cry to them and tell them what I'm insecure about.

And then they would hug me, then they would tell me what they're insecure about, I would hug them. And then we would lay this great foundation of communication and trust, yes.

That then built, you know, friendship that then turned into family.

I mean, still very close with all three of our girls today.

And probably not even just the three. The truth is though, you had three people sleeping in your house, you really hosted like 30 fellows.

Yeah. We call them our bonus fellows. Yeah.

So there's 10 every year, usually. Well, I guess there's been some years since. Eight or it was 10. Eight or 10 every year.

And so we have one that was living with us, for us. Each year was a girl. But then there's the others that were not sleeping at our house, but they were constantly in our living room, in our kitchen, and we loved that.

We loved, sometimes we would come home to it. If we were gone on a trip, we would come home, and sometimes there's, like, a giant brunch happening in our house. It was great.

Yes. And it's not always like that, just to be clear.

Well, wait. Was after the communication talk about boundaries and what we were comfortable with?

Yes. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Exactly. You don't have to have that.

And one final thing, how was it for your children, would you say? What was their experience?

They, real well. I talked to my daughter who's now eight about it.

It was huge.

They were loved on by every single person that stepped into our home and, and still are.

I mean, I text out pictures of them regularly to people who love them, who are just in our home because they're a part of the program.

They've been prayed for. They've been counseled. I mean, I—I hope you're planning on doing this for a long time because they're gonna be Blue Ridge fellows today. Early early acceptance letter.

It'd be great. Yeah. The, it's, it's impossible to explain how much I think this has impacted their lives.

And I think hearing Caleb talk about, you know, he experienced that as a child and how it's made him wanna continue this legacy. I think it's, it's a gift we're giving them as well.

Amen.

It was, it was for, and from our side, I mean, the fellows, not just the ones who lived with you, but all the fellows that just congregated in your home. It was, there's so many stories. We don't have time for all this.

But so many times, you just moved into their lives and loved them. It made such a huge difference.

Sometimes this mom would like stay up late to wait for a fellow to come home so she could have a conversation with them at 11:30 at night, you know.

Yeah. It was just, you know. Well, sometimes I, I forgot to tell them I was waiting up for them and they would open the door and like, standing there wrapped in a blanket and they were afraid.

But, yeah. But usually it went well. Yes. Usually that—more communication.

But we love you. We miss you. We're so sad you're gone.

But I understand that your plan is that hospitality will be a major hallmark of your family for years and years to come. And we look forward to seeing how the Lord blesses people through you and you through them.

So thanks for being with us.

No problem. Thanks.

Alright. Thanks so much. You can just take it back down. Yeah.

Application

So, you guys, when you got here this morning, you should have gotten one of these, right? And this is, of course, next year's class of Blue Ridge Fellows.

Each one of them needs a home. Each one, I think, is a godly young man or woman, and I think there might be a match for some of you to a particular fellow.

And I wanna ask you this morning, if you would be willing to host a family—host a fellow or a family, but really just a fellow at this moment.

Okay? Sometimes our hosts are families who have children at home. Sometimes they're singles. Sometimes their hosts are widows or divorcees with or without kids. Empty nesters are wonderful hosts.

But whatever your home looks like, there just might be a fellow for you. And so if you're intrigued, you don't have to say yes, you're not sure, but if you think, well, maybe, if you feel like the Spirit of God might be calling you to live out this virtue of hospitality by hosting a fellow, I wanna ask you to do one thing.

It's simply this. Would you text me the word maybe? Maybe. I don't know. There's no promises here. We're just investigating. We're just curious. No commitment.

Text me, and we'll just see where it goes. We can have a conversation, see if it's a good fit. I can answer your questions, unpack it a little bit.

I will say, we have lots and lots of friends at this church. We love, love, love this place, and we feel deeply loved by so many people. And the kindest thing, I think, that our church family does for Kelly and me, is open their home to host a fellow.

It is, no question, a radical act of generosity and love, and it fulfills the Christian call to humility, to hospitality, and humility.

But it is an enormously practical help as well to Kelly and I, and we're so grateful when families do this.

So, could you, would you, send me a text that just says maybe?

Except EFP. You're already indefinitely committed, so don't send me a maybe text. Okay? Like, you're already locked in.

Final thought. I said at the start that Jesus' sheep and goats discourse is predicated on hospitality, and it is. That's the passage that Barbara read. Take a look at it really quick.

And then we'll be done.

When the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. And all the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people from one another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.

He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the king will say to those on his right, come, you who are blessed by my Father. Take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me. I was sick and you looked after me. I was in prison and you came to visit me.

Now, this is a strange teaching to many of us because we all thought that we were saved by grace through faith, not by doing something. And we are saved by grace through faith, not by doing something. But the Bible consistently teaches us that the grace that saves us also changes us.

And according to Jesus, it changes us into people who are hospitable. It changes us into people who love strangers.

And I will not rescue you from the weight of this passage. In Matthew 25, Jesus gives hospitality as the primary mark of genuine Christian faith. He says that it is the evidence that will be used to separate the sheep from the goats, that will demonstrate who is invited into eternal life and who is cast into eternal punishment.

Now when Jesus said this, his audience puzzled over it, and they wondered, when did we do that for you? Like, when did we see you in prison or naked or thirsty?

And Jesus' famous reply is, of course, when you did it for the least of these, you did it for me. He takes our hospitality to strangers as hospitality to himself.

But hold on to your hat because I think there's one more click of this that I want you to catch. Because Philoxenia, the love of strangers, is in fact a participation in the cross itself.

Think again about that question. When did we see Jesus as a prisoner? When did we see him naked? When did we see him thirsty? When did we? Was he not all of those things on the cross?

Guys, our love to strangers is not merely love to Christ but it is love to Christ crucified. It is a participation in his suffering.

We love the imprisoned, naked, thirsty one when we love the people that he died to save.

Christian hospitality is a big, big deal. And so I invite you, host a fellow. Welcome a foster child into your home. Be gracious to the poor, to the needy. Practice hospitality. Love a stranger.

And if you are interested in possibly living this out, maybe, by hosting a fellow, then please do. Text me the word maybe.

And if you're curious to learn more about that, I'd love to talk about it, but do it now. Do it before the feeling goes away. Obey quickly in all things in your life.

And as I've said, if all that I've said prompts you to maybe want to have a conversation with Jesus about your love of strangers, or maybe a lack thereof, then this moment is for you.

It might be that something I've said triggers your mind and there's something you want to deal with with him. We'd love to invite you to come down.

It might also be that you're carrying other burdens, not related to this at all, and you need some time for everybody to be quiet and for you to be alone with Jesus. And this moment is for you.

It's a curved aisle for you, all alone on the straight edges. We'll have friends there to greet you and to pray with you.

So send me a text. I would love to hear from you.

Closing Prayer and Invitation

Lord Jesus, we ask your grace that we would be good at this singular virtue of hospitality, that as a church, as a community, our lives be marked by the love of strangers.

Lord, I pray that even in your grace, perhaps some here who welcome strangers, who live lives of radical generosity and kindness, might even meet an angel—that you would be pleased to send us, your ambassadors.

Lord, for we long to see you, and we pray that whatever we do, to love the least of these, you would take it under yourself because we love you, love you, love you. You are the center of our lives, and we thank you that you love us. Amen.