Episode 325: Secret Virtue | Tim Henderson

Alright, so in the early nineteen hundreds, there was this author, her name was Lloyd C. Douglas. Probably the most successful writer of his generation. He wrote a whole bunch of novels that everybody loved, super successful. And I think it's true that all or most of his books were made into blockbuster films. The best, most famous, the one that I love the most is called The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas. Also made into a movie. Probably the second best would be a book called The Magnificent Obsession. I'm curious, has anybody ever heard of either of those?

(A few responses from audience about The Robe)

So The Magnificent Obsession is about this guy, his name is Robert Merrick. And he almost dies but his life is saved at the same time that this physician actually dies, dies because the resources were diverted. And there's this big deal about this exchange of his life and he somehow ends up getting his hands on the journal of this physician who had died. And the journal contains the secret of his life. And the secret of this physician's life becomes the secret of Robert Merrick's life, which in turn becomes his obsession, his magnificent obsession.

Does anybody remember what that obsession was? What was the secret of his life?

(Audience member: "Giving things away")

Okay, yes, very good. Giving things away, but there's an extra quality to it. Do you remember what it was?

(Audience member: "Nobody knew")

Nobody knew. Nobody knows. So if you read the book, the whole idea is that what he determines that he will do is he will be incredibly generous, he will do all these things, but it will always be behind the scenes. No one will ever know.

If you read the book, it wouldn't be hard for you to recognize that the secret that the physician passes on to Merrick is based on things that Jesus said. Right here that we just heard Barbara read in Matthew chapter six. The whole book is about having some sense of private virtue, secret virtue, that you do things that nobody else sees.

The Principle of Secret Virtue

In Matthew six, what Jesus is going to do is give us a very simple principle. He gives it to us in the first verse of the chapter, very tidy little thing, and then he's going to expand on it three times. He's going to give three different examples of how we can apply the single principle found in chapter six verse one.

As he does, when he gives you these examples, he's going to tell you what not to do and then what you can expect if you refuse to obey and then what to do and then what you can expect if you obey.

Here's the principle. Take a look at the principle first in verse one:

Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your father in heaven. — Matthew 6:1

There it is, super tidy. That's the principle. Jesus is calling you to this life of secret virtue. And then he's going to particularize it into three categories: generosity or giving, prayer, and fasting. And it's in those three particulars that he's going to give us these four kind of expanded principles.

What I want to do with you is walk through all three examples. We'll just do them all kind of quick. See the principle, see the parallel here. It's a very repetitive structure that he's using. And then we'll talk about what it means.

Generosity: The First Example

So take a look at the first one about generosity:

When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing so that your giving may be in secret. Then your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. — Matthew 6:2-4

Okay, so obviously, this one's about giving. What is the thing that you're not supposed to do? You don't announce it with trumpets. You don't do it in a way that you're going to be honored by men.

Now if you refuse to obey that, here's what you can expect. It says they have received their reward in full. Whatever it is, you've already gotten fully paid for having done it. You kind of blew it.

Third thing: what should you do? You do this. You don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. You make sure that all of your giving is in secret. And if you will obey that, then what you can expect is that your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

Now let's look at the next thing. Go to verses five through eight. This one's about prayer. He says:

When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites, right? For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they've received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door, pray to your father who's unseen, and then your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like the pagans for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Don't be like them for your father knows what you need before you ask him. — Matthew 6:5-8

That should sound a little familiar to you. He's saying it's about prayer. What we're not to do is pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners. And again, this key phrase: to be seen by men. To be seen by men. To be seen by men. If we disobey that, then you've received your reward in full. Instead, what we should do is go into your room, close the door, and pray to your father who is unseen. And if we will do that, we can expect the father who sees what is done in secret to reward us. Right? Same thing he said for the previous one.

He's gonna do it a third time. Here's the third one:

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do for they disfigure their faces to show men that they're fasting. I tell you the truth, they've received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting but only to your father who's unseen. And your father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. — Matthew 6:16-18

The pattern should be pretty obvious to you. What is it that you are not to do? Don't make it obvious. Don't make a big scene. Everybody notices that I'm fasting, don't you? Don't do that. If you do, what happens? You've already been fully paid. You've already got your reward in full in the applause of the crowd. Instead, you should put oil on your head, wash your face so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting. Those aren't particular things you need to do when you're fasting. What he's saying is stop making a scene, stop drawing attention to yourself, just be subtle and secret. And if you'll do that, what's the final result? The Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

Now I think it's relatively obvious that Jesus is not saying here are these three special cases that you need to do secretly. Like make a scene about everything else, but just be secret about your giving, be secret about your prayer, be secret about your fasting. That's not what he's saying. What he's saying is that in all of your life, let all of your righteous acts be done in secret. He's just picking these three particulars to flesh it all out, but it applies far more broadly than just that. Does that make sense? If it wasn't that way, you look at this and you're like, "Jesus says be secretive when I fast"—it's like no problem because I don't have any intention to fast anyway, right? It wasn't even gonna come up. What he's saying is all that you do, everything that you do, all of your righteous acts, do them in secret. Those specifics about giving and prayer and fasting need to be applied to everything because the real call is not to live our life in a way that we're constantly seeking other people's approval, right?

The Underlying Issue

What I want to do this morning—because I don't think that in this community we particularly struggle with public giving, public prayer, and public fasting, right?—so I want to look through those three things to really get at the underlying issue. Because I think Jesus is putting his finger on something very deep and very central. Probably one of the most central longings of the human heart, including yours. And maybe it's obvious to you, maybe you could see this in the first second, or maybe it hasn't quite dropped for you. But you guys, what is behind the urge to do all of these things publicly?

This is longing for approval. This desperate need we have for approval. There is this universal desire that we have to be found pleasing, to be affirmed, to be told, "Hey, you're generous enough, you're prayerful enough, you're godly enough," or a whole different set of categories: "You're smart enough, you're pretty enough, you're fast enough, you're creative enough, you're enough." Right? And this longing pervades the human experience. Everywhere we go, this just is reality. We want it so badly that we just become very skillful at name dropping—this subtle art of just drawing attention to some magnificent thing about yourself.

We have this ability to time things so that when we do something wonderful, we make sure that somebody was watching to see it. And then when we check and they weren't watching, we can just do it again real quick now that they are, right. It's why we put our names on buildings, right? If you give a bunch of money to some building and put it up there, then it's really a double tap. You're saying first of all, I have a lot of money because I'm really good at what I do. And second of all, look how generous I am to give it away.

There's a million ways we become masters of the humble brag. Those of you that are maybe a little more sophisticated, you might have this tacit understanding with your confederates that you will praise them and they will praise you and no one will catch on what you're really doing. This little cabal of mutual self aggrandizement, right. Some of you perhaps have mastered the art of social media, where for whatever reason the whole system is designed to facilitate and encourage you to brag about yourself for the sight of others, right. I think it's so weird and embarrassing but live your life, whatever.

What is Jesus doing with this whole thing and what I wanna do this morning is pull back the curtain and consider why are we so thirsty for assurance? Why do we long for approval that we're willing to pull all these little strategies? Why are we such bottomless pits of this whole phenomena? There are some people that get lots and lots and lots of approval and it's just barely enough. And for others maybe they don't get much of it at all and it's like living in a state of starvation. Like what is going on with that?

I've got three questions. Why is it that being seen and approved of is so important to us? And number two, why does Jesus warn us away from our preferred strategies to get it? And then number three, what does he offer as an alternative to that? We'll take them in turn.

Why Is Being Seen and Approved Of So Important to Us?

I think this one's actually easy, and it's because we were made for it. You long for approval because you were made for approval. This might surprise some of you—this is not a broken desire. Sometimes we will cast it as if it's a broken desire, but it is not. You crave love and approval because you are made to be loved and approved of. You are made by a God who is love. He made you not only to delight in him, but to delight him. Do you realize this? Your intuition that you are to be approved of is right. You really were made for this. You really are meant to be a partaker of this great cataract of approval that flows from his kind and lovely face. This is not a broken desire. You are actually made for this.

Years ago, Kelly and I were given a gift. Somebody gave us this book called the Jesus Storybook Bible. Many of you have it because we give it away like water. It's actually in the pews in front of you right now probably. Somebody gave it to us, thought this would be a lovely thing to read to our children. And so I wanted to read it to see if I agreed and if I was happy with this. So I sat down to read a sample of it and I read the entire thing straight through in one sitting, because it's just so incredibly good.

It was written by this woman named Sally Lloyd Jones. She's this tiny little woman, very smiley. I met her at a conference that I was running for Ivy League students. And when I met her, I was so pleased to engage with her about this, because this book has been deeply impactful to me and to literally millions of other people. What she does is walk through every passage in the scriptures and show how the whole thing points to Christ. But when she does, she sets it up with this incredible description of the breaking of the world that's exactly on point.

Take a look, if you have it, if you wanna pull it out. We're on this page with a snake—it's like page 28, I think. But if you don't have it, you can just listen along. This is the chapter that Sally calls "The Terrible Lie."

Adam and Eve lived happily together in their beautiful new home. And everything was perfect for a while, until the day when everything went wrong. God had a horrible enemy, his name was Satan. Satan had once been the most beautiful angel, but he didn't wanna just be an angel, he wanted to be God. He grew proud and evil and full of hate, and God had to send him out of heaven. Satan was seething with anger and looking for a way to hurt God. He wanted to stop God's plan, stop this love story right here. So he disguised himself as a snake, and he waited in the garden. Now God had given Adam and Eve only one rule, don't eat the fruit on the tree.

God told them, because if you do, you'll think you know everything, and you'll stop trusting me, and then death and sadness and tears will come. You see, God knew if they ate the fruit, they would think they didn't need him, and they would try to make themselves happy without him. But God knew that there was no such thing as happiness without him, and the life without him wouldn't be life at all.

As soon as the snake saw his chance, he slithered silently up to Eve. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered. "And if he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, juicy, delicious fruit? Poor you. Perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy." The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep into her heart like poison.

Does God love me? Eve wondered. Suddenly she didn't know anymore. "Just trust me," the serpent whispered. "You don't need God. One small taste, that's all, and you'll be happier than you could ever dream." Eve picked the fruit and ate some, and Adam ate some too.

And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children, "God doesn't love me."

Guys, we long to be loved because we were made to be loved, but something has crept in and interfered. It is a fact of human nature that when our needs are not met through legitimate channels, we will labor to get them met through illegitimate channels. And we often employ that very strategy to our own ruin, to do whatever works to make this thing work.

Jesus knew that our strategies to get this need met through illegitimate channels would bring ruin. And that is the reason—this whole passage, the reason he warns us from playing for the applause of a fickle crowd—is because he knows that it can never work. But it's just the truth that where we do not know and cannot rest in the love of God, we will hunt for substitutes and the substitutes will not work.

Blaise Pascal, one of those brilliant French theologian-mathematicians, he reflected on this. I want you to listen to what Pascal says, and I dare you to tell me that this does not nail you. Here's what he says:

What else does this craving and this helplessness proclaim, but that there was once in man a true happiness of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace. This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not the help that he cannot find in those that are. Though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object—in other words, by God himself.

You guys, Jesus knows the game that you are playing. He knows the tidbits that you collect, these little newspaper clippings—the likes, the gold stars, the shares, the approving glances, the applause of the crowd. And he knows that we use those little clippings to fill in the gap caused by our fear that he doesn't really love us. And he knows that it will never work. And so he says, stop it.

He offers an alternative, a superior solution to the problem that we all experience. I'm gonna let Sally explain this one as well, because she does a beautiful job on this. Listen to what she says:

Well, in another story, it would all be over, and that would have been the end. But not in this story. You see, God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew that he would suffer, God had a plan, a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make the world their perfect home again. One day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes.

You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children with a never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love. And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God's children would miss him always. And they would long for him like lost children yearning for their home.

And so before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve, "It will not always be so. I will come to rescue you, and when I do, I'm gonna do battle against the snake. I will get rid of the sin and the darkness and the sadness that you let in here. I'm coming back for you."

And one day he would. God himself would come.

Jesus is inviting us to wean ourselves off of all the worthless strategies of playing for the applause of a fickle crowd to such a radical level that we would actually conceal, actively conceal the things that they might applaud if they somehow found out. He's inviting us to be so secretive that they cannot approve, so that this solution would be our solution. So that his pursuit of us would be enough. We would find it impossible to seek consolation in the approval of the crowd, because they wouldn't even know what we were doing to approve of.

He's inviting us to make a choice, to make the decision that his smile is the only smile that we need. It would be all that we are lived for.

Jesus is advocating—do you realize what this is? This is the defiant act that says, I believe that the God who went to the cross for me, and suffered infinite agonies in my place and for my good, did it because he loves me. And that will be enough. That if he did it for me, if he did it even in the midst of my active rebellion against him, if he did it despite my absolute passive indifference toward him, then whatever else it means, it has to mean that he loves me.

The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. — Galatians 2:20

The God who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all, mustn't it be true that he will graciously along with him give us all things? — Romans

If I really believe that's true, if I really believe that he died for me, then maybe I can stop taxing every interaction that I do, checking: does somebody see that? Can someone reassure me? Can someone approve of me so I can get through another couple of hours? Jesus is inviting you to say that his smile is the only smile that you seek, so that you will build your life on that and not on the crumbs that we can gather from the fleeting applause of a fickle crowd, but rather on the love of God as revealed in Christ and him crucified.

Is the Cross Enough?

So the question this morning is: is the cross enough? Is it sufficient to reassure and to satisfy, to ballast your soul? Does it convince you that he's for you? That he loves you?

I want to invite you this week—watch your life. Just pay attention. When you're at the office tomorrow, when you're talking to your kids, when you're having a conversation with a friend, do you find yourself angling to be seen, to be approved of, to be noticed? Are you running this in such a way that maybe somebody will notice and be impressed so that you're allowed to be impressed? And if you catch it happening, just notice it. And then subdue it. And begin this process, going one step deeper into living for his smile alone and no one else's.

Every week we have our habit that we come to say: you know, man, is this true of me? Am I doing this? It might be that there's some here that are like, what? For being honest, I don't think I knew that he actually loves us like that. And that he offers us this unconditional approval, complete, and we don't have to add to it. That's good news. That's different news. I've never heard that before. This could be the day that it begins to be your regular experience.

An Invitation

We invite you every week. We always want to see people that are on a journey, we're all on a process, and sometimes the point you're at in your life is the moment where it's like: I want that. I don't have that but I want it. And it is available to you. In Christ his love and his approval is yours for the asking. The only thing that it costs you, the only thing you have to trade in is your self-righteousness. That you would go from saying "I'm gonna take care of this myself" to saying "I can't." Would you? And the answer is yes, because his love is rich.

We invite you—you can come down. These curved rails are a place for you, just all by yourself, to do business with him. The straight rails, we'll have friends that'll meet you there if you want to pray with somebody. You can do either one. But in case you would, but you'd be a little bit embarrassed too because you don't want anybody to see you—and that would be weird. You don't miss the irony, like, that's what this entire conversation has been about, right? Sometimes we do things for the sake of the crowd, sometimes we don't do things for the sake of the crowd. It's the same disease, right? Don't let the idea that you're being watched influence you in either way. Just come to him. It's all available for you.

And if you already know him, you're like, yeah, I've known him for thirty-five years, but I still find that everything I do, I'm looking over my shoulder to see if somebody noticed. Well, maybe today is the day that might change by another degree. Our lives are changed bit by bit—it's rarely all at once, it's by degrees. But maybe today he wants you to, in some new way, make a commitment to live for his smile.

And again, we invite you to come and to talk to him about that—whether it's alone or with others.

Lord Jesus, you are the great one. You are the beautiful one. Would you be merciful to us to free us from all these other smiles to live simply for yours? And Lord, there's no way we could do it if we didn't believe that we had it. So would you convince us? Would you win us? Would you persuade us that you really do love us? Would you show us?

Would you open eyes in a deeper way to see the richness of the cross and what it simply has to mean about your orientation towards us. Your great love for us who don't deserve it but who nevertheless have it.

Lord, you win us and woo us and be the smile that we seek. We love you. Thanks for loving us. Amen.