Sunday School | Doctrine of the Church - How Do We Govern Church Discipline?

We are getting close to the end, guys. Today is our last class on ecclesiology, the doctrine of the church. Next week, we start angels and demons. So that's gonna get interesting. Like, you guys, it's gonna be interesting. It's also gonna be weird. It's gonna be great. We're gonna do a whole special week on demon sex, and that's not a lie. So tell your friends, come back.

Today is boring old church discipline, which is not boring, but it was actually important and somewhat under-exercised. So the last thing I wanna cover as we understand what is the church, is how do we govern ourselves? Not just at the level of organization, but how do we govern misbehavior in our own ranks.

There's one passage that is like the go-to passage. Sometimes we'll talk about the chair passage of something, meaning where does the seat of the doctrine lay. What is the chair passage on church discipline? One text. This is it. This is what we get. I mean, we're gonna look at more than one, but that's the center.

Anybody know? You wanna know the rules of church discipline? It's in Matthew, somewhere in Matthew. 16 is not quite right, but you're close. You're very close. 18. Matthew 18 is the church discipline passage. And that's kind of fascinating because you might have thought it would have come from Paul or maybe from Peter, but it's early. It's strange, right, that Jesus gives it. Jesus lays out how it's gonna work.

And when we read this, I think you'll recognize it. I'll read this to you in just a second. And when we do, I think you'll hear the progressive nature of it.

Church Discipline: The Matthew 18 Process

So church discipline in a nutshell—Jesus says this:

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. — Matthew 18:15-17

That's the central thing. So you can see a progressive approach. First, you don't need to call the cops when something bad happens. What's step one? One on one. You don't need to bring in the Supreme Court for every case. Sometimes it's just a conversation.

Far and away, the vast majority of what should be happening in this process of church discipline is that we just handle stuff small. We handle stuff early. We handle stuff personally. We handle it directly.

Now, having said that, I'm curious—how many of you have ever seen church discipline exercised? Kelly, Herrick, okay, couple people. Generally speaking, we're not real good at this.

But when I say, have you ever seen church discipline exercised? Probably the way those of you that raised your hand did so is because you saw stage four, right? You saw a church formally excommunicate somebody. The truth is, you guys, the whole thing is church discipline. Church discipline takes place when within your life group, you talk to somebody who's getting out of hand. That's it. And that's what we want it to be.

We would rather address everything at the little-issues level. We keep short accounts. It doesn't mean it's gonna like a big deal. We address it small. The reason it becomes a bigger deal—there's a couple of problems. One is because we're neglectful, and we don't handle the small stuff. We don't pick up the phone. We don't make a face-to-face. Or maybe more tragically, we do do that, and they're unresponsive.

So when people are unresponsive to the little, what's step two? You just call someone else. Right? You don't have a deputy's badge. You just like, hey, I'm talking to somebody, they're not hearing me. Dan, would you come with me? What we want to do is bring a little more oomph to the game, get their attention. We always want to use the least amount of pressure necessary to accomplish the mission. And so we're not just gonna go nuke. We're gonna have a conversation. If they're not responsive, hey, why don't we bring somebody else along and see if two people might be enough to like, okay, okay, okay, I see it. I wasn't seeing it before, but I see it now.

When you're talking about bringing one or two other people, you gotta make sure they're like a brother or sister in Christ. This is great. So Herrick's pointing out that this whole thing presumes these are Christians. In fact, Paul is gonna address that later on in First Corinthians six. He's like, why are you guys suing each other? Christians should be able to deal with this stuff person to person. You don't need to bring in the state.

So we're talking about believers, right? I'm gonna address something, and if that settles it, then that settles it. We forgive, we move on. If it doesn't settle it, we bring on a friend. And if that doesn't work, now the process gets ratcheted up another notch.

If your brother sins against you, show him the fault just between the two of you. If he listens, it's a huge win. But if he won't, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by two or three witnesses. And then if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. — Matthew 18:15-17

There is a point where you need to get the leadership involved, where you might need to involve your whole life group. Or it might be that you're involved in the leadership of the church, the elders of the church. He's kind of vague about what exactly it means to tell the church, but there is some point where we want to bring more people to bear. And at every stage along the way, as soon as it works, it works. As soon as they repent, we're not just gonna keep pounding them. We address the thing, and it works.

The Final Step of Church Discipline

And then the final thing—this is gonna be important for this entire conversation. What's the final step in Matthew 18's church discipline? Separate ties. And what's the exact language? Treat them like a pagan or a tax collector.

Now let me ask you, especially on the lips of Jesus, how do we treat pagans and tax collectors? We still treat them well. Love your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you. So there's no point within Christian discipline where it's like, and now we're just gonna wreck them. But there is something different about how we treat non-Christians.

If you run through the process and it works at level one, awesome. If not, we go to level two. If it works there, great. Level three, okay. If we run through this whole process and there's never repentance, never a sense of willingness to be restored—they won't admit it, they won't confess, they won't change—what is the essence of Christian punishment? Separation. If you were Amish, do you know what you would call it? Shunning.

This is it. As much pressure as we bring to bear, it is to step back. It is to shun. Some people might experience shunning as a really horrible, terrible, bad thing to do, but I think in fact shunning is incredibly gracious. It's incredibly gentle. The essence of Christian discipline is to say, okay, as you wish, we will give you over. We will leave you to your own way.

One on one, maybe two or three on one. Now we gotta bring in the leadership, the church. Now what we have to do is we're gonna take a step back. You'll see that as we build through this.

What Does the Bible Say We Discipline?

What sorts of things does the New Testament talk about exercising discipline for? Can you think of any passages where discipline is exercised in the New Testament, or where discipline is explained? What are we even talking about?

Poor teaching. Okay, so that's fascinating. When it comes to teachers, absolutely—teachers that teach poorly, teachers that teach erroneously—that is no good. There is specific language for discipline of pastors, and we'll talk about that a little bit at the end.

Adultery. In Corinthians, doesn't it... Yes, absolutely. First Corinthians is a great example. In fact, that might be maybe the most vivid example where Paul gets quite exercised. Let's take a look at that.

So if you go to 1 Corinthians chapter 5, it's not even just garden variety adultery. It's like weird adultery. 1 Corinthians 5:1 says:

"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you and of a kind that doesn't even occur among the pagans. A man has his father's wife." — 1 Corinthians 5:1

So in Corinth, there was something going on where somebody is sleeping with his stepmom. And Paul is like, yeah, we're gonna have to put an end to that pretty quickly.

Corinth is Vegas. Corinth is sin city. In the Roman world, Corinth was a cesspool. A church that was born in a cesspool might not be shocking that there's some old habits sticking around. But Paul doesn't give them any pass. That's a great example. Sexual morality absolutely is a church disciplinable thing.

Other Disciplinable Issues

Can you think of others? Other times that it's like, hey, this is worth addressing?

Kelly Sue mentioned something about laziness, which isn't necessarily the Matthew 18 model. Paul addresses this in Thessalonians, and it's absolutely in bounds. Of all the churches that Paul wrote to, the one that he loved the most and had the greatest personal warmth to is the Thessalonian church. He's so fond of them. His language is so incredibly affectionate to them, but they were lazy, and it recurs in his letters to them. Here's what he says in 2 Thessalonians 3:

"In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching that you received from us." — 2 Thessalonians 3

So idleness becomes a disciplinable issue. We're not gonna persist with you lazy people that won't get a job and won't do the work.

Gossip shows up all the time. Paul said that is a cancer. It's delicious. We love it, and it's killing you, so knock it off.

Idolatry, immorality. Later on in 1 Corinthians 5, there's a list of people not to associate with. It's not people of the world—it's a brother doing a list of four or five things where you don't even associate with him. 1 Corinthians 5 shows that if you really want to understand discipline, there's a lot of stuff needing discipline there. The shunning language is clear: we step back, we don't associate.

Ray brought up fraud and lawsuits from 1 Corinthians. Fraud is theft by deceit. You could name virtually any sin, and this would be among them.

Boasting and pride are absolutely in bounds. That's in 1 Corinthians 5 where Paul talks about:

"Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little bit of leaven leavens the whole lump?" — 1 Corinthians 5

Dan referred to Ananias and Sapphira. They sell the land and keep some of the money back, which you're allowed to do, but they misrepresent themselves. They say, "Hey, this is all that we got," and then they get struck dead. Be careful of that one. That one seems to be a big deal.

One more discipline passage you can think of. Yeah. Rachel? Not judging. Don't be judgmental. Not judging. Oh, yeah. And that is so fascinating, because we're exercising judgment about judgment. Right? And this is... Okay. So hold on. I'm gonna come to that in a second, because they're... Let me say more about that in a minute. Let me read you some more of these other things that are explicitly here, and we'll talk about where judging fits in.

So Romans 16, listen to this:

I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. — Romans 16

Okay? So there's the sense of those that are causing division. Or Titus 3:10:

Warn a divisive person once, and after that, warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. — Titus 3:10

So you see, twice there, division, those that are just like sowing seeds of dissension, trying to split people up, things that are screwing up the unity of relationships they're supposed to have, and in both cases, have nothing to do with him, have nothing to do with him, because the essence of Christian discipline is shunning.

Second Thessalonians 3, a little bit later than the passage we already looked at, says:

If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him in order that he may feel ashamed. But listen to this, this is very important. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. — 2 Thessalonians 3

Alright. We'll come back to that more in a little bit. First Timothy:

Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I've handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme. — 1 Timothy

Blasphemy is a disciplinable issue. Or Second John 10:

If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. Anyone who welcomes him shares in his wicked work. — 2 John 10

It wouldn't be obvious what he's talking about there, but it's false teaching, which kinda touches on what you were saying, Susan, that poor teaching is something we show discipline to. Right? There's all sorts of things. These are a variety of sins—division, sexual morality, false teaching—lots of things that Paul or John are saying: address that, get on that, Matthew 18 that. And if it doesn't fix, step back. Do not associate. Shun. This is Christian discipline.

Kelly, you wanna add? It's in Philippians. The letter of Philippians, like, I urge you, you get sent to me. It's the two girls who are... Two women who are... Yeah. You're reconciled. Yep. It's so much in the letter about forgiveness and considering others so. It's a great example. We don't know what they're fighting about. There are two women in the church in Philippi, and they're just getting... They're not getting along. And Paul's like, would you just knock it off? Like, kiss and make up. Right? It's like you... Parents, do you know this vibe? It's like, just stop fighting. Right? Like, forgive each other. Move on for sure.

Herrick? Just circling back to Matthew 18, like, the next section about the parable of the unforgiving sermon. Like, even if we're gonna shun someone, we should forgive them. Like, in our heart, we have to, because if we don't forgive them, then we can't be forgiven.

Yeah. So the goal of all church discipline is restoration. The shun is not the end, it is a means to an end. What we want, even... It was one of these things that I just read, where he said... What's the thing about? "Do not associate with him"—this is 2 Thessalonians 3—"in order that he may feel ashamed, yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother." This is temporary. This is to the end of restoration. Church discipline is exercised to the end of restoration.

What about when it says, do... If you know that you have something against somebody else or they have something against you, be give it the offer to your gift that they offer, and go... And I've done that. Yeah. And it's really something. There is a priority among Christians for relational unity. When you realize that somebody is mad at you, okay, so it's step one: if you're mad at somebody, have a conversation about it. But also, if you realize that somebody else is mad at you, have a conversation about it. The ball's always in your court. It's always in your court. Okay.

On Judging and Disputable Matters

Now, let's talk about the judgment stuff. Okay. So Rachel, if you look at Romans 14, okay, here's what we don't exercise church discipline on. Look at this:

Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, another man whose faith is weak eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. — Romans 14:1-3

So we exercise church discipline on things that are actually sin, but we don't go after people because on some disputable matter, we see it differently. We're not just going after people. I hope you haven't been in communities where there are little subclusters saying, "We do it like this."

Pick a thing. What do Christians gripe about? Somebody lets their kids go trick-or-treating on Halloween, and you're like, shun. Paul is saying, stop it. There are disputable things. We're not exercising discipline on all these little things. We don't get tangled up in that, but we do address the things that are sin and that are breaking unity.

Who Takes Step One?

Who is step one to do it? You are. The peer, the friend, the life group member. Do you know where James talks about this? Run the book of James through your church discipline filter. Do you know his language at the very end of his letter? Go to James 5. He says this:

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth, and someone, anyone, should bring him back. Remember this, whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. — James 5

That's always the goal. We keep watch over each other, not because we're in some creepy 1984 novel, but we look after one another because we love each other and because we know that we need other people to look after us.

When you became a member of this church—whether you're a member or not—we all make a pledge. We're determined to help one another grow in Christ. So when we see our friends getting stupid, we're allowed to say, "Yo, what's up with that?" And when your friends come to you and say, "What are you doing with that woman? What is that about?"—you need to receive it. You need to be soft. You need to be humble.

You're going away for the weekend and you're bringing your girlfriend, and your friends are like, "What? Are you guys getting a place? Well, yeah, we got a place at Wintergreen. You're spending the weekend?" That conversation should be happening. I don't need to have that conversation with everybody in this church, but you should be having that conversation with your friends. We're going to engage with one another. We're going to see people wander from the truth, and we're going to bring them back. And we do it soft. But it is also the case that when level one doesn't work and level two doesn't work, there does come a time where you really do need to involve the leadership of the church.

The Role of Pastoral Leadership

The pastor of a church has a divine authority to speak into it. This is, without question, our least favorite part of the job. I'll teach all day, every day. But this stuff—this is a nightmare. We don't like this. But it's part of the deal. Listen to this:

Preach the word. Be prepared in season and out of season. Correct, rebuke, and encourage with great patience and careful instruction. — 2 Timothy 4:2

Someday, your pastor might rebuke you. Calm down. Receive it. We don't like doing this, but some things need to be corrected. Or how about this:

Therefore, rebuke them sharply so that they will be sound in the faith. — Titus 1

Sometimes we need to sit down and say, "You are not allowed to teach that at this church. Absolutely not. That view is unacceptable, and you may not repeat it. In fact, we're never going to give you a platform again until we understand that you understand that that's bad news."

Not any fun. But that is our job—to hold to the trustworthy message as it has been taught so that we can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

There's a place where we need to engage and do that. Or Titus 2. Still same letter, Paul, to Titus. He says, "These then are the things that you should teach. Listen to this line. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you." And then later he says, same letter Titus:

Warn a divisive person once, then warn him a second time, after that have nothing to do with him. — Titus 3:10

I wonder, I'm generally curious. Has it ever occurred to you that I have authority in your life? We're not just teaching little aphorisms. Pastors, biblically, pastors have authority to say, "You can't do that." And I think we generally are afraid to exercise such authority.

Do you know what makes it hard in our current culture to exercise church discipline? Because you just go next door. As soon as you say, "I don't like it here anymore because they're mean to me," it's easy. You want to go a quarter mile in any direction? You've got three options.

Maybe if there's anything that made church discipline almost impossible to really carry out, it's the Protestant Reformation. And I say that as a huge fan of the Protestant Reformation. But the church didn't split into two. It split into 20,000, and now there's just like, if you don't like it here, go someplace that's going to let you get away with whatever you want to get away with, or at least someplace that doesn't know your history. You feel this?

I think that causes a lot of people to be like, "I'm going to slow down." But yet, in not doing that, we weaken the scriptural Word of God and weaken absolutely the body of Christ here in the church. Church discipline is a responsible act, a God-given act, a God-commanded act. We must exercise discipline. When we don't, we just become weaker and weaker and more corrupted and less meaningful. The whole thing turns into like, "Don't leave, don't leave because we really need your tithe." And that kills churches. That has killed churches. You can look at entire denominations that did not guard the doctrine, that did not exercise discipline, and then the church just becomes sure, people still go until it just completely dies because it's so worthless and has nothing actually to say.

A church that will not confront sin, that will not rebuke, is on its way to death. It's just hard. It's conforming rather than transforming. We're to be transformed. This is true to individuals, but it's also true to churches.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, not conformed to the pattern of this world. — Romans 12:2

So have mercy if you ever see your pastor exercising authority to correct and rebuke. That's not our favorite part of the job, but it is part of the job.

Correction Through Affirmation

I have this book called Affirmation and Rebuke. In it, there was a lady who was a gossiper and all over the church. What this pastor did was he said to her privately, "You are so good at communication. You know how we could really use you in this department?" And he put her in a different role. And that really helped me in my teaching because each person is an image of God. They're an image bearer. Some kids that have been really hard to discipline—there was this principal who would go to them and say, "You know what? Someday you could really be good at this when you grow up." So it's kind of affirmation.

Catherine's describing there's a gentle way that we can bring correction to say, "Hey, this thing that you're using ill could actually be used for good." And there's something really smart, something like high emotional intelligence about that. We can figure out, like this kid that just can't sit still. Well, maybe he'd be a great athlete. Maybe let him go outside, let's do some things. And so there's value in helping people like, "Hey, how can you use this in another place?"

We can correct things, but the goal is restoration. We're not just trying to shut people down. Let me show you something that shows up over and over again. When church discipline is talked about, we don't hit people with sticks. We don't gossip about them. We just step back. We create this distance. So in First Corinthians 11...

But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother, but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler, with such a man do not even eat. — 1 Corinthians 5:11

That is the core thing—step back. He's going to say the same thing earlier in that chapter too. In chapter five, he's like, "Shouldn't you have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?" This is the guy who's sleeping with his stepmom. Or:

Keep away from every brother who is idle. — 2 Thessalonians 3

Later in 2 Thessalonians 3:

Do not associate with him in order that he may feel ashamed. — 2 Thessalonians 3

Christians could and should rediscover the value of saying, "I will not." I know a family whose son has had an affair, and the parents are grieved by this, but they have said, "As long as you persist in this relationship, even we need to take a step back and distance." Can you imagine? That is difficult. That is incredibly painful, but they understand the primary tool given to the church in sin is distance, is separation. And that makes sense because what we long for is relationship, connection, intimacy.

So note that.

[Audience Discussion]

Yeah, so there's discipline just by doing that—by just showing up for your church body. He speaks to me, and you're opening yourself to it. You're saying I'm soft before you. I want to receive. I want to be corrected. Sometimes I'm not, and it hits me hard. But just the church body gives us discipline just by coming together.

That's right. And even in a quiet time, right?

God's word is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that we'd be thoroughly equipped for every good work. — 2 Timothy 3:15-16

So even just me alone in a Bible has the power to be like, "Hey, Henderson. Does this ring a bell?" And that's incredibly valuable if you're yielded to the spirit. So we want to be receptive to church discipline, and we want to be receptive to it small. Rebuke me small so that I can repent small before this thing turns into a train wreck.

[Further Discussion on Church Boundaries]

I would say within that context, that's extremely relevant. I think we dysfunction along relational lines. You could be friends with somebody that goes to a different church and still be able to James 5 them. Right? You could still see a sinner wandering from the truth and help. It's going to be harder the higher up you go, and you and your friends can step two work too. But getting to like the church telling the church would be strange, and I don't honestly know what we would do. If I got a phone call from somebody saying, "Hey, don't go to your church, but I know something about Adam," I'd be like, "Well, I don't know what to do with that." Right? So it gets harder. So it works best at the low level, but it's much more difficult because we are so fractured.

The End of Church Discipline

To what end? What's the end of church discipline? It is restoration. It is repentance.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. — Galatians 6

But watch yourself or you may be tempted. Or Second Corinthians 7:

Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it, I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while. Yet now I'm happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended, and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leads no regret. But worldly sorrow brings death. — 2 Corinthians 7

We're trying to make people sad so that they will repent, so that they can be happy and we can be happy with them. Or Second Corinthians 2, Paul says:

If anyone has caused grief, he's not so much grieved me as he's grieved all of you. And to some extent, not to put it too severely. Listen to this. This is super important. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. And if you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven, if there was anything to forgive, I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake. Listen to this. This is important. In order that Satan might not outwit us, for we are not unaware of his schemes. — 2 Corinthians 2

Satan would love you to not exercise church discipline at all. But if you do, he would love for you to do it in a mean-spirited, arrogant way that sees no hope of restoration. That works just as well for him, you with me? He is scheming. And Paul's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're onto him. Therefore, forgive. Restore. We're trying to produce repentance so that there will be restoration. You with me?

On Rebuking Pastors

Okay, last thing—I think maybe my last thing, maybe I'm not. You mentioned pastors and teaching. The deal with rebuking pastors is that it simultaneously has a higher standard of evidence and a higher degree of punishment. We're in a different place. First Timothy 5 says:

Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. — 1 Timothy 5

I don't know everything that's going on in Paul's mind for this, but I can tell you this: it would make sense to me if you need a couple of witnesses to go after a pastor, because individuals get mad at us all the time for completely nonsensical reasons. All the time. This thing that I was most shocked by when I moved—I worked with college students for most of my life, and I came to work in a church. And when I got here, the amount of nonsense that flowed across Quig Lawrence's desk on any given day was like, what in the world is wrong with these people? People get their nose out of shape, and they get mad. I could give you a list of everybody in this church who's ever been mad at me for one ridiculous thing or another. And when one person's mad at you, it doesn't mean that much. But there's two or three—okay, let's pay attention. Right? Pastors are not above the fray. And in fact, the punishment is more severe. If we screw it up, the costs are higher. So First Timothy 5, Paul says this:

Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly so that others take warning. I charge you in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism. — 1 Timothy 5

James repeats the same idea. He says:

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. — James

Some will say we'll be judged more severely. Right? So you step into this role. On the one hand, we're going to have a little bit of a higher evidentiary standard, but if you blow it, it's public. Because what else can we do? It's a big deal.

Adam asked: How can we rebuke publicly while not being divisive?

Well, if the rebuke is well-founded and it's true, then division comes from the people that are refusing to hear it. There will be divisions. Jesus brought division. People were divided because of Him. So if you are being divisive, if your purpose is to sow dissension, then that's a sin. But if what you're doing is true and right and some people don't like it, that's just what happens. That's how it's going to be.

So if people are running around just taking chip shots at Sloop, that would be divisive. But if Sloop, or me, or Brian, or any of us do something that requires rebuke, then we have to clear the air. We have no choice. You can't just let that stuff simmer and lie. And some people won't like it. And that's as may be.

You may have already said it in forgiving behalf, but certainly implied, if not required of us, is that before any of this goes on, we need tremendous time in prayer and seek the Holy Spirit. Because as Anna said, or at least alluded to, we don't wanna be a stumbling block. We want to bring restoration, but we don't want to forever separate someone from their desire to be part of God's family.

I mean, you can imagine as we go up that ladder, the amount of wisdom and humility that is required just grows more and more intense. So we don't wanna go to somebody to correct them willy nilly. It is possible in that conversation to realize, "Oh, I misunderstood. I had bad information, and no harm, no foul." We're not omniscient people, but hopefully you've gone in in a way that's like, "Hey, I heard this. Am I right? Is this going on?" Then it's easier to back out than if you just come in hard. So the wisdom and the humility is gonna come from living a life before the Lord. "Lord, I think I need to do this. Give me wisdom. Give me guidance. Let me do it right." Instead of just being a coward and then never having the conversation. And then at each step, as the stakes get higher, we wanna make sure we're living before His face, that we're seeking His wisdom, we're yielded to the Spirit. He is empowering us.

Examine Yourself First

When we are going to rebuke someone or correct someone, don't forget to get the log out of our eyes. Jesus says, before you go after the speck in somebody else's eye, you might wanna deal with a log in your own eye. This is the brilliance of Jesus' instruction here—to right size things. Everybody else's sins seem big to us. Our own sins seem so small. He's like, you know, you might wanna flip that around a little bit.

But then that impulse could make us never confront anybody because we'd say, "Well, I'm never qualified because who am I?" And the answer is that we're not coming in saying, "You are not as righteous as me." That's not the standard. We're saying that what I'm observing is some incongruence between what you claim to be and what you are actually being. And that is fair to say about ourselves. But as a sinner, I'm allowed to address you because I'm not your standard. I was never the standard. The scriptures are. But we open ourselves up for that same correction, and we should be open to that correction. Because we who pass judgment do the same things.

The Church Stage

So the stage four in Matthew 18 is "tell it to the church." I take issue with that as a young teacher. I watched a huge church fall apart because of what the preacher had done, and it was brought to the church. And it destroyed his child. Eventually, as he was an adult, it did destroy him.

When people jump to just taking out an ad in the newspaper—that's very different from "Have I gone to you? Am I sure that I'm right? We had this conversation, and you're hard hearted. And then I bring a couple witnesses." I think if you generally get to stage three by walking through stages one and two, then it's much more likely that it's founded. But if you just jump to stage three because you're too cowardly to have that conversation, then that would be bad. There's a lot of ways that the whole thing can go sideways.

The Power of Early Intervention

Church discipline is best when nobody knows about it because it's just a one-on-one conversation, and we solve it early. Don't be afraid to James five people and save us from a big disaster that's huge and public down the street.