509: The Bride Belongs to the Bridegroom | Tim Henderson

All right guys, we are going to continue our series on the Gospel of John. We've been at this for a couple months and we've got a ways to go yet. We're going to be finishing up the second half of John chapter 3, so if you have a Bible you might want to turn there as we finish it.

I wonder, even as we've gone along, if you have begun to get a sense of what John is really doing here. When I read these first few chapters of John, it reminds me of the book of Hebrews. Do you guys know the kind of refrain of Hebrews? What's going on there? It's this idea that gets repeated over and over—Jesus is greater, Jesus is better. Over and over, Hebrews is making this picture of the supremacy of Christ. He is better than the angels, and he's better than Moses. He's the better priest who offers a better sacrifice.

John is doing something very similar. He's painted this picture—we've already seen it. We kind of skipped ahead to the end of the book—his purpose in writing John is to convince you that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, so that by believing you may have life in his name. And so he's begun here, as the book opens, to build his case that he is the Son of God, that he is the Christ, that you should believe in him. And the way he's doing that essentially is by telling you he is better than this and he is better than that and he is better than everything.

We've seen already that he makes a better wine, that he is a better temple, that he is a better snake. Because as Dave looked at it last week, he's the snake that's lifted up that brings healing, not the snake in the sand that brings judgment and death.

What we're going to look at here in the second half of this passage is that Jesus is bringing a better baptism, that he is himself a better bridegroom, and that he draws a better belief. We're going to look at the baptism, the bridegroom, and the belief.

The Baptism

Let's start with the baptism. Here in 3:22:

After this Jesus and his disciples went into the Judean countryside and he remained there with them and was baptizing. John was also baptizing near Enon near Salem because the water was plentiful there and the people were coming and being baptized, for John had not yet been put in prison. — John 3:22-24

I mentioned probably the first week—several weeks ago at least—that I think it's an interesting thing that every one of these gospel accounts, each one of these biographies about Jesus, begins or gets interrupted by some discourse about John the Baptist and just what a big deal he is, how incredibly important he is.

We look at that and we see there's a couple of Old Testament passages that the gospel writers tend to draw from. Look at Isaiah 40, which is the one about John being the voice in the wilderness that prepares the way of the Lord. And look at the last chapter of Malachi, which is the last chapter of the Old Testament. It anticipates that before the Messiah comes, some person in the spirit of Elijah is going to come—or maybe Elijah himself is going to come back. It's not that clear in Malachi, but the gospel writers say that yeah, John is the fulfillment of Isaiah 40. He is the fulfillment of this passage in Malachi.

What might have caught your eye—or maybe it didn't—is that I think it's interesting that when these passages anticipate this guy that is coming, none of them say anything about baptism, even though that is what John does. I mean, we named him after baptism, for crying out loud. And yet the Old Testament, these passages don't mention it. The reason that they never mention baptism in reference to John is that the Old Testament never mentions baptism. It doesn't show up ever. It doesn't exist. There's no point in the Old Testament history, in the Hebrew scriptures, that ever talks about this. Jews don't baptize. Baptism had arisen sometime after the Old Testament closed, but it was kind of a cultural phenomenon before Jesus showed up.

There are different Old Testament rituals about cleansing. Dave Sloop looked at Ezekiel 36, which is one of the most important passages in the Old Testament. It's about the New Covenant and it anticipates this cleansing that will take place. It seems like it had become a practice—John didn't invent it—but he is practicing this act of symbolic, ritualistic cleansing.

But he knew. John knew that it was just a picture. John knew that what he was doing was relatively insignificant. In fact, he had said earlier in John 1:

I baptized with water, but this is he who baptizes with the Holy Spirit. — John 1:26-27

He was obviously talking about Jesus. He knew that he could only talk about cleansing, but the Messiah Jesus could actually make us clean. And John knew it. It's interesting—it shows up a number of times throughout the gospels—John knew that what he was doing was relatively insignificant compared to what Jesus was going to do, and he was completely fine with it. You don't get a sense ever that John had any ego, that he was counting, that he was keeping score. Not at all.

His followers kept score all the time and it kind of drove him out of their mind. They knew they were the JV team compared to Jesus's team and they were jealous, they were envious, and it troubled him tremendously.

Here's another example of it in 3:25. It says, "Now a discussion arose between some of John's disciples and a Jew over purification"—you could read that as cleansing—"and they came to John and said to him, 'Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan to whom you bore witness, look, he is baptizing and all are going to him.'" Right? You can probably tell they're not exactly celebrating this. Their envy of John the Baptist, of Jesus, is once again rearing its head. And I think it's just that Jesus's popularity and the way that he drew crowds to himself was painful to them because it cut into their own sense of significance. They want people to come to them, and so they frequently lament Jesus's success.

But John notably never does. Never, never, never does he give this least hint of this. Not even a little bit. In fact, listen to how he replies to their repeated complaint. He says, "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given to him from heaven." What he's saying is, "You guys, calm down. Everything's a gift. Whatever you think about, whatever fame, whatever credit you're drawing, it's all a gift. Everything is of grace. Relax."

"You yourselves bear me witness that I said I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him." John is not remotely troubled. He knows his role, and I think most importantly, he knows Jesus's role. And he has no contest in his mind. He knows what Jesus is here to do, and that's fine.

But his response, I think, is significant. Not just because he's humble, not just because he points to the fact that Jesus must increase and he must decrease—another line of his—but I want you to notice the specific form that his illustration takes. He kind of said a lot of things about like, "Hey, he's the big deal and I'm the small deal," but there's this mini theme that has been developing in John's gospel, and I want you to see that what John is about to say—what John the Baptist is going to say—fits into this theme that John the disciple is building.

Right back in chapter 2, you remember Jesus turned water into wine. And where did he do that? What event? At a wedding, okay. So he's at a wedding in chapter 2. Next week, chapter 4, a feast is going to show up, and he is going to walk us through what's going on in John 4, which is where Jesus is going to have this very tender conversation with a woman who has had five husbands and is currently living with some guy. She's longing for the right husband, right? And she hasn't found it yet.

And between the husbands and the wedding, there's this discourse right here. Once again, this theme of marriage is going to show up. And John is going to say something about a bridegroom. Right? So we turn water to wine at a wedding. We're going to talk about the bridegroom. Next week's going to be all about husbands. There's an obvious kind of connection that draws us all together, and it's right in the middle of this.

John the Baptist, in trying to demonstrate the superiority of Christ, he says, "The bride belongs to the bridegroom, not to the best man." Right? It's not an arbitrary illustration.

The Marriage Metaphor in Scripture

Now, as often as we often do, what we're going to want to do is run back to the Old Testament for a minute, because John isn't making this up. John the Baptist isn't making this up. He's drawing from one of the primary illustrations that Scripture uses to describe our relationship to God. In fact, there are four of them. You can just file this away in your brain.

There are four primary pictures, metaphors, of how God relates to us. He is a father and we are like children. He is a shepherd and we are like sheep. He is an artist and we are his works of art. And he is a husband and we are the bride. Those are the four primary pictures. They show up over and over.

And John reaches for the one about God being a husband and we are like the bride.

Here's a couple of these that show up all over the place. Isaiah 62:4 says:

"You shall no more be termed forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed desolate; but you shall be called 'My Delight Is in Her.'"

Isn't that a great nickname, by the way? "My Delight Is in Her." That's what he calls her. This—whenever I read this verse, Isaiah 62:4, it always makes me think of Alan Janney. "My delight is in Alan Janney." That's not true, okay? But it does because—I don't know if you guys know this story. Alan and Sarah Rachel, do you guys know? They adopted a little girl, Rima Grace, and Rima Grace was from a very small village in India. She was a little girl when she joined their family, and they traveled to meet her, to get her, to bring her home. And what I did there—just aren't that many people, even in India there aren't that many people that speak her language because she's from this kind of out-of-the-way place. And they found a restaurant where there happened...

to be a waiter that worked in the restaurant that spoke her native tongue and so they would just keep visiting this restaurant because they just had a couple of days before they moved back to America and would never find anybody else that spoke her native tongue as they were welcoming her into their family. So they would visit there to have some bridge to this little girl to help her learn what they wanted her to know and hear from her.

Alan, as any father would be, was deeply anxious to know: Is she happy? Is she at peace? Is it going well for her? As they went back to this restaurant one day and asked the waiter to check in with her. In response to the question "Are you happy?" her answer was: "My daddy is happy with me."

Isn't that a great answer to the question "Are you happy?" My daddy is happy with me.

God's nickname here for those that he loves: "You shall be called my delight is in her. And your land [shall be] married, for the Lord delights in you and your land shall be married." And the image is: "As a young man marries a young woman, so your son shall dwell in you and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride—not just as married to you but rejoices over the bride."

So show your God rejoice over you. This shows up over and over and over. Sometimes he's a father to children, sometimes he's a bridegroom to the bride. Hosea—you guys probably know the whole entire book of Hosea is about this image. And it says in Hosea 2:16:

In that day, declares the Lord, you will call me "my husband" and no longer will you call me "my master." And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and injustice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness and you shall know the Lord. — Hosea 2:16

Here's John's version. Here's how he puts it, verse 29 of John 3:

The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom who stands and hears him rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease. He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all. — John 3:29-31

Now it would be tempting to think that all John is saying here is that Jesus is like a husband, so if you think about husbands you might get a little bit of insight into what Jesus is like. But that's not what he's saying. His claim is much, much stronger than that. What he is saying is that Jesus is the husband, and all other husbands are mere imitations of him—some better, some worse.

The Image of God in Creation

I want to show what I mean by this with a visual depiction of some of the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins. Gerard Manley Hopkins is phenomenal. I want to look up some of his stuff or buy a book of his work. Here's a quick shot that depicts one of what I think are his favorite notions.

Let's go back to fire. Why do we have it? For warmth, to cook. But fire is used time and time again to tell us something about God. He is dangerous. He purifies. He enlightens.

So you're saying the world gives us a metaphor for God? Yes, except with one very important difference: God isn't like fire. Fire is like God. There is something in fire that tells us about God. There is something like these trees that tell us about God. In fact, when we look at everything in the world, we can not only see into it but we can see along it.

Listen to this: "I do not know that I have ever seen anything more beautiful than the bluebell I have been looking at. I know the beauty of our Lord by the world. Then the world is word, expression, news of God. Therefore its end, its purpose, its purport, its meaning is God and its life or work to name and praise him. The world is charged with the grandeur of God."

The creation does praise him, does reflect honor on him, is of service to him. The sun and the stars shining glorify God. They stand where he placed them. They move where he bid them. The heavens declare the glory of God. The birds sing to him. The thunder speaks of his terror. The lion is like his strength. The sea is like his greatness. The honey like his sweetness. They are something like him. They make him known. They tell of him.

"For Christ plays in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs and lovely in eyes not his, to the father through the features of men's faces—lovely in limbs and lovely in eyes not his."

You guys, God created a world and he filled it with things like himself, things meant to teach us.

Some aspect, some facet of his perfections—as Gerard Manley Hopkins said, the world then is word, expression, news of God. Therefore its end, its purpose, its purport, its meaning is God.

And among the things that God has made were men and women and marriage. One of the reasons that he made men, males, was to have a character in a play who would portray himself—who would be charged to love and to lead and to sacrifice and to serve, because he loves and leads and sacrifices and serves.

And one of the reasons that he made women, females, also in his image, was to have a character in a play that would portray the people that he loves—people who are to respond to and receive and respect and rejoice in his leadership and protection and provision.

Our maleness and our femaleness are meaningful, and marriage is meaningful. For the church is his bride, and we are his bridegroom. And he is our bridegroom, right? So whether you ever partake in the play or not—one of these little mini marriages that populate the earth—if you are in Christ, you will partake in the real marriage to which all other marriages are meant to point.

And in the meantime, if you are a husband, then you are to take your cues from the great husband who laid down his life for his bride. And if you are a wife, then you are to take your cues from what the church ought to be. As we honor and follow the Savior, our lives are supposed to demonstrate that the bride belongs to the bridegroom.

Jesus brings a better baptism because he, and he alone, can cleanse us, right? And the purification that he offers is real and lasting. And he—if he unites you to himself like a bride is united to a bridegroom—then you will be united to a much better bridegroom than any other bride ever has been.

Finally, Jesus is a better place to place your belief. Okay, now what John does here is interesting. I'm curious—when Barbara read this to us earlier, if it made you kind of cock your head. Listen to it again. This is verse 35:

The Father loves the Son and is given all things into his hand. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life. Whoever does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. — John 3:35-36

Just squint at that for a second. Does that remind you of anything? Does that seem like an echo?

How about this. Listen to this:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. — John 3:16-18

In fact, let me put them side by side here so you can look over line by line. I think it should be relatively obvious—the correspondence here between these two statements in John 3. But let me light them up for you.

In John 3:16, God loves and he gives. Same thing, right? In 3:35-36. In John 3:16, whoever believes in the Son obtains eternal life. Same thing, right? In 3:35. In both passages, the terrible alternative to eternal life is death—death and that forever, right? And in fact, it is to remain under a condemnation of wrath, for we already are.

But there are differences too. Look at this. In John 3:16, what does God love? In John 3:35, who does he love? The Son. In John 3:16, what does he give? Gives the Son. And in 3:35, what does he give? All things to the Son.

You guys, there are similarities and there are differences between these two passages. Similarities, I think, tend to be a little bit more obvious. But I point out the differences here because though every word of John 3:16—which I'm thinking is probably much more familiar to us—every line of that is gloriously true, but it is also incomplete.

The cross was not only about God's love for you. We tend to think of it in those terms. We tend to hear the gospel through the language that God loves us, and he does. And I have no interest to diminish that at all. But in addition to the love of God for you, there is the love of God for God.

The cross was as much about the Father's love for the Son and the Son's love for the Father. In fact, you guys, the love that exists between the Father and the Son is the ground. It is the wellspring of everything good in your life. In a similar way that a child's security is grounded in their parents' love for one another, the love that exists among the persons of God is the basis for everything good in your life.

Jonathan Edwards has this unpublished essay on the Trinity. I've mentioned it a number of times because it is so brilliant and mind-boggling. It's hard to get over the things that he shares in there. But among the things that he observes is that at the heart of the cross lies the Father's love for the Son and the Son's love for the Father. Edwards envisions that the Son saw that—

The father who he loved longed to save sinners but to do so would injure his justice. God cannot declare the guilty to be not guilty without becoming himself guilty. And so in Edwards, the son so delighted and prized the father's honor and glory that he stooped infinitely low rather than that men's salvation should be to the injury of that honor and glory. Jesus went to the cross so that the father could get what he wanted, which was you. He did it for the father so the father could remain just.

Not only that, but the cross shows us how much the father adored the son because he was just. Think about the math of this, you guys. The father was willing to accept the sacrifice of one person as a sufficient substitute for billions of people because that one person was so precious to him, and he considered it an even trade.

Just think about what it says. Here's how Edwards puts it:

The cross showed the infinite excellency and worth of the son, that the father so delighted in him that for his sake he was ready to quit his anger and receive into favor those that had deserved infinitely ill at his hands.

Because it was the love between the father and the son. And by the way, you've been invited not just to observe but to participate in the father's love. The father loves you the same love with which he loves the son. You are invited not just to watch it but to experience it. And that love affair between the father and son is the source of everything good in your life, and it is yours to have forever.

The promise that you are offered is not one of witness but of participation. And the alternative, you guys—the only alternative to swimming in that river of love forever is to remain under his wrath and to perish eternally. It is the most obvious choice, friends. Why perish when you could believe the gospel and get literally everything?

I want you to think of it like this: in ten thousand years, if you were to look back at your life, back at these days, and you were to consider what was the most important decision that you ever made, I think uniformly we would all look back and say the most important, the most significant, the most meaningful thing that I ever did was surrender my life to Christ and to enter into his grace, to come under his gracious reign and his loving protection. I cannot imagine what would even compete with that.

And if that's true, and you'll know that it's true in ten thousand years, let me ask you this: Think of another person. What is the most important thing that they could possibly do? Is it not the same? That they too would leave death, enter life, come out from underneath his wrath and into a place of safety? And if that is true, then what is the most important gift that you can give to anyone? What is the most significant impact that you could ever have on another human life? Would it not be that in some way, shape, or form, you influence them, encourage them, help them, motivate them, instruct them, pray for them, love them, take risks for them, that they too would come to know of the gracious provision of Christ in his cross?

I just think it's so obviously the case, you guys. The reason we're teaching John this semester, this year, the next two years is so that we ourselves will be more and more convinced that Jesus is the Christ, he is the Son of God, so that by believing we might have life in his name. But not just for us. For Jesus is the atoning sacrifice not only for our sins but also for the sins of the whole world. We are doing this to create an arena in which you can invite your friends so they can discover for themselves just how great he is.

You guys, he is better at everything. He has a better baptism that can really cleanse sinners like us. He is a better bridegroom. He's so much better a husband than I ever will be. And to believe in him is so much better than to believe in anything else.

God may use you. He could use us. I pray that he will, that will pack this room Sunday after Sunday as more and more people come to see just how great he is so they can come under his gracious reign and give him the praise and honor that he is due.

Amen. Lord Jesus, you are better. You're better than everything. You're better than everyone. You are so kind. You are so good. You are so just. You are so lowly. You are the prolative of literally anything good we could choose to call you. In fact, it's not that you are like those things that we think are good—those things that we think are good are like you. You are the original of all of it. And I pray that this would be a community that speaks often of your grace, that richly experiences your goodness, that you would persuade us that you are better than whatever shiny bauble we're chasing at the moment, that you would be our prize, our treasure, our delight. We love you. Thanks for loving us. Amen.