Episode 297: What Is Love? | Landon Dermott

Good morning. If we haven't met before, my name is Landon Dermott, and I work full time for a ministry called Young Life. Some of you may have heard of it before, and I go here to Church of the Holy Spirit, and I get to teach occasionally from time to time. I'm excited for what we're gonna dig into this morning.

I've been going a lot this summer. Part of my job with Young Life is that I spend a lot of time in the summers away at Young Life camp. During the month of June, I was doing what we call a program assignment. I was part of the assignment team, and I worked with a group of Young Life staff from all over Virginia. We were up in New York at a camp called Lake Champion in Glenspoon, New York. Who's been to Lake Champion before that's here? I see a few hands. It's an amazing place.

I was there for a month, and we were part of four summer camp weeks that came through with people from all over the United States. We even had a group that came from Puerto Rico, which was really fun. We put on an incredible week of Young Life Camp, which many people leave and will say is the best week of their life. We saw about 2,000 students come through in groups of about five hundred over the course of those four weeks. It was a blast to get to watch them experience the incredible facilities that we have at Young Life Camp—exciting adventure, genuine and authentic friendship, and then also to get to process the gospel for some, for the first time.

Over the course of those four weeks, where we saw 2,000 students come through Young Life Camp at Lake Champion in June, we saw close to 450 students decide to start a relationship with Jesus for the first time in that month. It was incredible. It was amazing to watch what the Lord was doing and to think about the ripple effects that are happening now as those people have gone home to begin to walk in that new life in their hometown.

But last week, I just got back from Lake Champion again, only this time I went with a group of our staff and leaders from here in Roanoke. A lot of them are here this morning and are members of Church of the Holy Spirit. We went up with a group of 90 people from here in Roanoke. We experienced Young Life Camp with those same incredible facilities, those same incredible adventures, experiencing authentic and genuine friendship, and again processing the gospel with those high school students from here in Roanoke, Virginia.

Over the course of that week that we just experienced, we watched 19 students from here in Roanoke, Virginia, for the first time, start a relationship with Jesus and are coming back home to walk in that. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says:

If anyone is in Christ, the old has gone, the new has come.

We're walking through what that looks like to be a new creation here at home. Some of them are even here this morning at Church of the Holy Spirit, which is really fun. I say that only to say thank you. Church of the Holy Spirit has been a faithful supporter of the mission of Young Life for so long. On behalf of me, my staff, my leaders—what we get to do is such a gift. Thank you for allowing us to do what we get to do. It's a gift and an honor.

The Passage

This morning we're gonna look at a passage in Scripture that I would contend is one of the most famous passages in all of Scripture: 1 Corinthians chapter 13. As you heard it on the screen, it probably took you back to a wedding ceremony, maybe something you've seen framed in your grandma's house before.

If you've been to Church of the Holy Spirit, you know that in the last little bit we've been studying the book of 1 Corinthians for somewhere between eight or nine years. It feels like it's been a long time. We're close to the end—we're in chapter 13 this morning. If you wanna go ahead and flip there, I'm really excited about what we're gonna look at.

Like I said, this is a famous passage of Scripture, and as you read it, you probably would think that this is some sort of poetic, romantic writing about love. As Paul writes what he says here in verses four through seven of chapter 13: that love is patient, that love is kind.

But as you know, from our studying here at Church of the Holy Spirit of 1 Corinthians, the book is full of a lot of rebukes and harsh teachings, and it seems like Paul is really getting after something in the church in Corinth here. I think the reason that it looks like that is because Paul loves the Corinthians so much, and they were new in their faith. It was a new church that had just started, and they were figuring it out. They had come to faith in Jesus, they'd become new creations, and then after a little bit, they had gotten off the rails. Paul is writing to correct them a little bit and give them a harsh truth, because sometimes we need a harsh truth.

But as we look at 1 Corinthians 13, if we just looked at it in a vacuum, you might think, "Oh, this is kind of a breath of fresh air, this is gonna be a nice one." But I would venture to say that Paul is being just as intense in what he's saying to the Corinthians, and perhaps what God might be saying to me and to you this morning in 1 Corinthians.

You see, I think in chapter 13, what Paul is looking to do is answer the question that every single person in the world wants to know the answer to. Paul wants to answer the question that every single movie seems to pose. Paul wants to answer the question that every single piece of literature seems to hinge upon. Paul wants to answer the question that me and you wake up every day and seem to be asking. This morning, in 1 Corinthians 13, I think Paul wants to answer the question: what is love?

What Love Is and Isn't

As we look at that passage, what we're gonna do is split right down the middle. In verses one through three, Paul says this is what love is not. Then in verses four through seven, he'll say, this is what love actually is. So let's start in verse one.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, if I have the gift of prophecy, if I can fathom all mysteries and knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains — 1 Corinthians 13:1-2

Paul begins to list off these sorts of gifts and talents. If you were here last week, Quig talked about spiritual gifts in an awesome way, and it's in 1 Corinthians 12. What Paul is saying here is in context of what he just wrote in chapter 12.

And here's what I want you to know: you were created by God, and you were created for God. When he created you, he crafted you with your own set of unique gifts and talents, and it is your duty and your honor to serve him with those gifts and talents.

Paul is talking about these gifts, but what he's saying is that those gifts and talents, in and of themselves, are not love. The gifts and talents that we have—whether it's speaking in tongues or teaching or understanding scripture or caring for people, whatever gifts and talents you have been given—those in and of themselves are not love.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels and have not love, I'm only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. — 1 Corinthians 13:1

I know that Eric doesn't use the gong and the cymbals much in morning worship here at Church of the Holy Spirit, but I thought it was weird when I first read this, that Paul was throwing shade at the gong and the cymbal. They seem like fine instruments to me; it seems pretty negative the way he talks about them.

But when you look at this, most commentators would say that when Paul is talking about the gong and the cymbal, he's actually referencing pagan worship that would have taken place in this time and place of Corinth. He's saying, "I'm nothing but a resounding gong or clanging cymbal"—he's talking about pagan worship ceremonies where people would go and worship for hours on end, ringing gongs and clanging cymbals.

I think Paul draws reference to the gong and the cymbal to this pagan worship for two reasons. First, this church in Corinth, like I mentioned, was a new church. They had really just started in their faith, and probably just a few years prior, they had taken part in that worship—the same worship that the unbelievers were taking part in.

I think the first thing Paul is saying is: when you use your gifts and talents that the Lord has given you, and you don't have love, it's no different than what the unbelievers do. It's no different than the worship of the world, the worship of pagan gods. Without love, it's no different. And we, as believers, want to be different.

And I think the second thing that he says is that those worship ceremonies that went on for hours, as they would ring those gongs and clang those symbols, were really all about drawing attention to themselves. What Paul is saying is, when we use our gifts and our talents without love, it's really about us. It's really about us saying, look at me, look what I have done, look what I can do. He's saying that, in and of itself, is not love.

So the first thing that Paul says is that our gifts and our talents, in and of themselves, are not love. But then in verse three, he tells us a second thing:

If I give all I possess to the poor, and I surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. — 1 Corinthians 13:3

What Paul is saying here is not just your gifts and talents, but also, if you work really hard, if you give everything you have away, if you sacrifice your whole life for Jesus, but you don't have love, you gain nothing. I think it's interesting that he uses the word gain here because I think he's drawing reference to the same thing he was talking about in the gong and the symbol. When we serve, when we give things away, when we sacrifice without love, it's really about what we can get in return. We do things in hopes that people will see us and think that we're great servants or hard workers, that we deserve some sort of recognition. It becomes about us.

But Paul says, your gifts and your talents, your service and your sacrifice are not in and of themselves love, and without love, they're nothing. I think this is a really challenging thing that Paul tells us, and that we need to hear this morning, because what he's saying is that you can serve Jesus without Jesus. That you can work for God without knowing him. And I think that we know this to be true—that there's no better place to hide from Jesus himself than in service to him.

Paul is challenging us, and he's saying, do you know him? Do you have love?

The Problem: Doing to Be Loved

I think the reason that we can get this mixed up so often is that in our world, every relational function is that you do and therefore you're loved. You think about it in terms of your relationship that you have maybe with your coworkers. If you do your job, if you get done what you need to get done, then your coworkers will love you. You think about it in terms of your family. If you take care of your family in the way that they need to get taken care of, then they will love you. You think about kids, you think about with your parents—if you do what they say to do, then it feels like they might love you, right? This is the way we think and see every relational paradigm in the world. I do, therefore I'm loved.

And that's how we see our gifts, our talents, our service, and our sacrifice, and we try to force that thought process into the gospel—that if we do, if we use our gifts, talent, service, and sacrifice, then we'll be loved by God. Every other religion in the world says that, but the Gospel doesn't say that. The Gospel is radically different.

The Gospel Reversal

The gospel flips that on its head. The gospel says, you are loved, therefore you do. Love comes first, and then we do. And the things that we do—our gifts, our talents, our service, and our sacrifice—aren't out of what we can get in return. It's about what we already have. We're filled up with love, and now we can go and do in freedom.

Makes me think about this glove. I used this in the first service, and someone told me that they said, you Young Life people must love gloves. I didn't know that Sloop used a glove a couple weeks ago, but we're gonna use the glove again. I apologize—we do love gloves in Young Life. But I think it's a lot like this glove.

If I take this glove and I reach it out to shake your hand without my hand in it, it's gonna feel empty. It's gonna feel weak. If I take this glove outside and I go to a mulch bed and I begin to pick up weeds and try to use it like this and garden and use it to pick up weeds, I'm not gonna make much of a difference. It's not gonna be very transformational.

But if I take my hand and I put it into this glove, and I reach out and I shake your hand, it's gonna feel powerful. It's gonna feel strong. And if I go to that same mulch bed and I begin to pick up weeds, I'm gonna start to make a difference.

I think that's a lot like our gifts and our talents, our service and our sacrifice. In and of themselves, they're really just like this glove. It's not very powerful. It's not very purposeful. It's not very transformational. But when love—the hand—embodies the glove, then it takes on new life.

So you'd say, Landon, you've told me that we need to get love first on the timeline.

You've told me that we need love to be the hand in the glove, to embody our gifts, and talents, and service, and sacrifice. But we still haven't answered the million dollar question. What is love? What actually is it? We know what it isn't. We know that we need it. But what is it?

Well, let's turn to verses four through seven and see what Paul has to say in this beautiful passage. But I think what happens so often is we misread this passage. We look at it and we say, okay, so we need love. Love is patient. I'm gonna be more patient. Love is kind. I'm gonna be a nicer person to people starting tomorrow because today I might be a little bit short with people. Love does not envy. I'm gonna be less jealous. And we think of this in terms of a behavior modification program. We say, I'm gonna work really hard to make myself more like this thing that Paul is talking about, this list of adjectives that is love.

For me, what that looks like a lot of times is taking a beach ball and forcing it underneath the surface of the water at a pool. And it's exhausting, and I try as hard as I can, for as long as I can, but then what inevitably happens is my hand slips, I get distracted, or I forget about it, or I get tired, and that beach ball bursts through the surface and makes a big splash. And I'm reminded almost every single day of my life that I can't be that list, and I fall short. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I work at it, I seem to fall short of that list.

What Paul Actually Wrote

I think we read this passage wrong. As we translate this from the Greek to the English, what we miss is we see this as a list of adjectives. But most commentators would say, as you look and translate this, what Paul's actually writing is a list of verbs. Paul is talking about what love does.

Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not keep a record of wrongs, does not rejoice in iniquity, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, and endures all things. — 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

I think what Paul is trying to teach us in verses four through seven is two things. And the first is a hard truth. And that hard truth is that me and you are not love. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we work at it, no matter how much we try to work into this behavior modification program, we are not love. And I think the reality is we know this to be true. We feel it because as we try, we know that we're broken people, and we fall short of this verb list that is love.

You see, I think the reason we know Paul is saying this is because when you look at the verbs he uses in First Corinthians 13, verses four through seven, all of those verbs have been used before in the book of First Corinthians, except they're used in a positive light here, and they were used in a negative light in the rest of the book. Paul is saying that love does not envy, but you envy. Love is not puffed up, but you were puffed up. Love does not seek its own, but you seek your own. And it seems like bad news as Paul tells us what we already know to be true, which is that me and you, the church in Corinth, no matter how hard we try, we can't measure up. We are not love. We're broken and we're flawed. And it seems like terrible news, but it's not.

Love Is a Person

Because love does exist. Paul's not just writing a list of adjectives. He's not even just writing a list of verbs. What commentators would say is Paul is actually personifying love. He's saying love isn't a thing, love isn't a feeling, love is a person. And it's not me, and it's not you, but that person does exist.

But who is he? Who is love? How can we put love first on the timeline if we don't know who he is? How can we put love as the hand in our glove if we don't know who he is?

You see, love left heaven and lived the life that we should have lived and died the death that we deserved to die and he took our place. Don't you see? It's Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus suffered long and was kind on the cross. With nails in his hands put there by the people that he created, he cried out, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." And Jesus did not envy, but being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. And Jesus did not parade himself and was not puffed up, but rather he made himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a servant. And Jesus did not behave rudely, but instead, he who knew no sin entered into the world as a human being, born a baby in a manger, meek and gentle.

And Jesus did not seek his own, but he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross. And Jesus was not provoked. Instead, He was silent before His accusers. Jesus kept no record of wrongs, but rather, He died to erase it. Jesus did not rejoice in iniquity, but instead, He laid on Himself the iniquities of us all. And Jesus rejoices in truth. In fact, He is the way, the truth, and the life. And Jesus bore all things, believed all things, hoped all things, and endured all things on a criminal's cross that day on Calvary.

Why? For me and for you. To live the life we should have lived, to die the death that we deserve to die. Because you and I are not love, but love left heaven for me and for you.

You see, Jesus has to come first on the timeline. Jesus has to be the hand in our glove. When we have Jesus' love itself, then it transforms everything we do. Our gifts, our talents, our service, and our sacrifice are no longer about what we can get from other people or striving to earn God's love because we have it right here, right now in love itself who left heaven for you. And he changes everything. And he did it while we were still sinners.

He did it while we were still sinners — Romans 5:8

When Jesus' love comes first, everything changes. It's not about what we have to do to earn his love, it's about what's already been done for us.

See, I think a lot of times we look at church, we look at Christianity, we look at the Bible, and we say, "That's a whole lot of stuff about what we need to do for God." But get this: the gospel's way more about what God has already done for you than what you need to do for God. Because Jesus cares way more about what he's doing in your life than he's gonna do through it.

And our gifts and our talents and our service and our sacrifice take on new life. Now we don't have to work really hard to be loved. Love is in us, and love flows out of us. And it's not our love that we have to muster up, but it's Jesus' love in us that we're passing on to the world as we go.

I wonder if somewhere along the way you reversed the timeline. If we're trying to force the paradigm of "I do, therefore I'm loved" into the gospel, I wonder if somewhere along the way you took the hand out of the glove. I wonder if you've been hiding in service and sacrifice to Jesus.

I'm gonna pray in just a moment. These curved rails will be open for you to come and pray by yourself, and these straight rails will be available for you to come and pray with someone. What I encourage you to reflect on this morning is that love itself left heaven for me and for you, and it's standing right here, right now with open arms saying, "I have kept no record of wrongs." Would you receive his love this morning?

Let me pray. Lord, we thank you that you left heaven for us, that you love us so much that you came and lived the life that we should have lived and died the death that we deserved to die. We thank you. It's in your name we pray. Amen.